The best spam comments, Part 3 (March-August 2016)

It’s that time again! I always worry a bit that I’m going to stop getting interesting spam messages, but thankfully over these last 6 months, the spammers didn’t disappoint. As always, these posts are lifted straight from my spam inbox – I have not edited out any of the spelling and grammar mistakes!

For Part 1, click here.
For Part 2, click here.

Let the games begin!

Let food be your medicine and medicine be your food.

Coffee had better be considered food.

Great lead up to Halloween Father, rank that up there with the Exorcist, I was expecting heads to spin around and projectile vomiting at any moment.

Seeing the words “projectile vomiting” kind of put me off my breakfast. Well done, spammer.

The Big Brother house breathed a sigh of relief today when former bessie mates
Noirin and Marcus put their differences aside and buried the
hatchet. Gossip news app Other notable hairstyles:
Dan’s uncontrollable hair in Season 5, which B so happily
pulled on during their makeout sessions. 

Wow, I did a bit of googling (since I don’t watch Big Brother) and Noirin and Marcus are names of actual people on the show? Factually accurate spam. I’m amazed.

Generally, the loud covers are a give away how the kid wets
the mattress, so youngsters will not have mates over.
As mattresses saved in a person’s room influence probably the most basic
portion of his or her life, the hygiene must not be negotiated.

Spam about bedwetting. I feel like I’m approaching parts of the internet I really don’t want to see.

How many cups is 100g

Was Siri on strike?

And slowly, so slowly, I hope I am teaching them feelings
of personal responsibility. The upside about it can be
the fact it doesn’t harm to obtain hit in the discs, they’re rubber and
cozy. Nerf guns for toddler This means you may only obtain the energy
from KI once per 4 seconds, it doesn’t matter how often you
crit.

Nothing says personal responsibility like giving children Nerf guns!

Luis D. Garcia of the IRS in Detroit gives advice on
How to avoid common

art-common1

The objective of the lightning typing game is to strike down the approaching mice with lightning by typing the words they are carrying along with them.

Oh my god. Lightning Typing is a real game. If I had known about it as a kid, I would have played this for hours.

On a related note, I was reminded of an old favorite from elementary school: Number Munchers! Did anyone else play this?

You could make this extra fun by adding a dance
off and some disco balls/ funky lighting.. This one is especially good for the older kids.

Saturday Night Coffee Fever!

This piece was a lifckaejet that saved me from drowning.

Holy cosicne data batman. Lol!

Pin my tail and call me a donyke, that really helped.

Well, call me the hokey pokey as I turn myself around, cuz that’s what it’s all about! I love word scrambles.

Your articles are for when it abulostely, positively, needs to be understood overnight.

What can brown do for you?

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“…the whole point of becoming a writer is that it’s the laziest possible way to earn a decent living, in theory at least. Rito9?&quht;That&#3g;s what I signed up to. Thing is, I’ve never worked harder at anything else in my life. I was conned and I’m fecking raging about it!gb

HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, this made me laugh hard. I’m not a professional writer, but the idea of it being a lazy way of earning a living is hilarious. There’s something so paralyzing about having to put thoughts down on paper.

In personal mastery, the internal change is actually more important than what had happened to you.

Sort of profound. Anyone else getting a fortune cookie vibe from this spam?

Why people still make use of to read news papers
when in this technological globe everything is presented on net?

My heart died a little due to this grammar.

Will probably be again to get more. Thanks.

Some people just take take take! (You’re welcome.)

You are my inhalation

That’s almost romantic.

obviously like your web-site but you need to test the spelling on several of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to tell the reality on the other hand I?¦ll surely come again again.

Okay, this REALLY burns my biscuit. Don’t you dare accuse me of writing posts rife with spelling issues!

Yli-Luoma works carefully with the beans in each batch, keeping the flavors more on the juice and berry side, and adjusting accordingly. This brings out nuances other roasters would be wise to think about, but are sometimes an acquired taste. Heart is of the lighter roast school which isn’t everyone’s cup of amber, but certainly has its fans for a more delicate coffee tasting experience.

Huh. On-topic spam. I’m impressed!

Great site, make it up!

What do you think I’ve been doing? 😉

Aw, this was a very good post. Finding the time and actual effort to generate
a superb article but what can I say I put things off
a whole lot and don’t seem to get anything done.

Ahh, I see you know my old friend, procrastination!

Take down those curtains and replace them with blinds. make you get out of bed in the morning ready and excited about your day? These This could make you a happier and more full of energy person total.

Or, being awoken by the sun earlier than I would like could make me want to kill everyone in my path. Hmmm.

Excellent beat ! 

😀 *rimshot*

I think everything posted was very reasonable. However, what
about this? suppose you wrote a catchier title? I mean,
I don’t wish to tell you how to run your website, however what if you added a title that grabbed folk’s attention? I mean The best spam comments (March-September 2015) – Coffee Cantata is
kinda vanilla. You should peek at Yahoo’s front page and note how they create post headlines to grab people to
click. You might try adding a video or a related
picture or two to grab readers excited about
everything’ve got to say. In my opinion, it would bring your posts a little livelier.

Okay, I’ll concur. My titles are pretty boring. How about,
“You’ll NEVER look at coffee the same way once you learn about this one amazing secret!”
“Doctor reveals hidden weight loss trick via espresso”
“She drank some coffee with her eyes closed. When she opened them, my jaw dropped! Click to read why!”

See you in 6 months for Part 4.

(Update, September 2017: I think either the filters are getting better, or spammers have just not been on the ball with funny messages since this post because there really has been nothing worth saving from my spam folder in the last year. What a pity! So, I will have to say this series of posts is now over but thanks for the memories…)

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