{"id":2321,"date":"2016-09-30T10:00:24","date_gmt":"2016-09-30T15:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/?p=2321"},"modified":"2017-09-16T20:24:09","modified_gmt":"2017-09-17T01:24:09","slug":"the-best-spam-comments-part-3-march-august-2016","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/?p=2321","title":{"rendered":"The best spam comments, Part 3 (March-August 2016)"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s that time again! I always worry a bit that I’m going to stop getting interesting spam messages, but thankfully over these last 6 months, the spammers didn’t disappoint. As always, these posts are lifted straight from my spam inbox – I have not edited out any of the spelling and grammar mistakes!<\/p>\n

For Part 1, click here<\/a>.
\nFor Part 2, click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Let the games begin!<\/p>\n

Let food be your medicine and medicine be your food.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Coffee had better be considered food.<\/p>\n

Great lead up to Halloween Father, rank that up there with the Exorcist, I was expecting heads to spin around and projectile vomiting at any moment.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Seeing the words “projectile vomiting” kind of put me off my breakfast. Well done, spammer.<\/p>\n

The Big Brother house breathed a sigh of relief today when former bessie mates
\nNoirin and Marcus put their differences aside and buried the
\nhatchet. Gossip news app Other notable hairstyles:
\nDan\u2019s uncontrollable hair in Season 5, which B so happily
\npulled on during their makeout sessions.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Wow, I did a bit of googling (since I don’t watch Big Brother) and Noirin and Marcus\u00a0are names of actual people on the show? Factually accurate spam. I’m amazed.<\/p>\n

Generally, the loud covers are a give away how the kid wets
\nthe mattress, so youngsters will not have mates over.
\nAs mattresses saved in a person\u2019s room influence probably the most basic
\nportion of his or her life, the hygiene must not be negotiated.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Spam about bedwetting. I feel like I’m approaching parts of the internet I really don’t want to see.<\/p>\n

How many cups is 100g<\/strong><\/p>\n

Was Siri on strike?<\/p>\n

And slowly, so slowly, I hope I am teaching them feelings
\nof personal responsibility. The upside about it can be
\nthe fact it doesn\u2019t harm to obtain hit in the discs, they\u2019re rubber and
\ncozy. Nerf guns for toddler This means you may only obtain the energy
\nfrom KI once per 4 seconds, it doesn\u2019t matter how often you
\ncrit.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nothing says personal responsibility like giving children Nerf guns!<\/p>\n

Luis D. Garcia of the IRS in Detroit gives advice on
\nHow to avoid common<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"art-common1\"<\/p>\n

The objective of the lightning typing game is to strike down the approaching mice with lightning by typing the words they are carrying along with them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh my god. Lightning Typing\u00a0is a real game<\/a>. If I had known about it as a kid, I would have played this for hours.<\/p>\n

On a related note, I was reminded of an old favorite from elementary school: Number Munchers<\/a>! Did anyone else play this?<\/p>\n

You could make this extra fun by adding a dance<\/strong>
\n off and some disco balls\/ funky lighting.. This one is especially good for the older kids.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Saturday Night Coffee Fever!<\/p>\n

This piece was a lifckaejet that saved me from drowning.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Holy cosicne data batman. Lol!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pin my tail and call me a donyke, that really helped.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, call me the hokey pokey as I turn myself around, cuz that’s what it’s all about! I love word scrambles.<\/p>\n

Your articles are for when it abulostely, positively, needs to be understood overnight.<\/strong><\/p>\n

What can\u00a0brown do for you?<\/p>\n

\"IMG_1154\"<\/p>\n

“\u2026the whole point of becoming a writer is that it’s the laziest possible way to earn a decent living, in theory at least. Rito9?&quht;That&#3g;s what I signed up to. Thing is, I’ve never worked harder at anything else in my life. I was conned and I’m fecking raging about it!gb<\/strong><\/p>\n

HAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, this made me laugh hard. I’m not a professional writer, but the idea of it being a lazy way of earning a living is hilarious. There’s something so paralyzing about having to put thoughts down on paper.<\/p>\n

In personal mastery, the internal change is actually more important than what had happened to you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sort of profound. Anyone else getting a fortune cookie vibe from this spam?<\/p>\n

Why people still make use of to read news papers
\nwhen in this technological globe everything is presented on net?<\/strong><\/p>\n

My heart died a little due to this grammar.<\/p>\n

Will probably be again to get more. Thanks.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Some people just take take take! (You’re welcome.)<\/p>\n

You are my inhalation<\/strong><\/p>\n

That’s almost romantic.<\/p>\n

obviously like your web-site but you need to test the spelling on several of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I to find it very bothersome to tell the reality on the other hand I?\u00a6ll surely come again again.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Okay, this REALLY burns my biscuit. Don’t you dare accuse me of writing\u00a0posts rife with spelling issues!<\/p>\n

Yli-Luoma works carefully with the beans in each batch, keeping the flavors more on the juice and berry side, and adjusting accordingly. This brings out nuances other roasters would be wise to think about, but are sometimes an acquired taste. Heart is of the lighter roast school which isn\u2019t everyone\u2019s cup of amber, but certainly has its fans for a more delicate coffee tasting experience.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Huh. On-topic spam. I’m impressed!<\/p>\n

Great site, make it up!<\/strong><\/p>\n

What do you think I’ve been doing? \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

Aw, this was a very good post. Finding the time and actual effort to generate
\na superb article but what can I say I put things off
\na whole lot and don\u2019t seem to get anything done.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ahh, I see you know my old friend, procrastination!<\/p>\n

Take down those curtains and replace them with blinds. make you get out of bed in the morning ready and excited about your day? These This could make you a happier and more full of energy person total.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Or, being awoken by the sun earlier than I would like could make me want to kill everyone in my path. Hmmm.<\/p>\n

Excellent beat !\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\ud83d\ude00 *rimshot*<\/p>\n

I think everything posted was very reasonable. However, what
\nabout this? suppose you wrote a catchier title? I mean,
\nI don\u2019t wish to tell you how to run your website, however what if you added a title that grabbed folk\u2019s attention? I mean The best spam comments (March-September 2015) \u2013 Coffee Cantata is
\nkinda vanilla. You should peek at Yahoo\u2019s front page and note how they create post headlines to grab people to
\nclick. You might try adding a video or a related
\npicture or two to grab readers excited about
\neverything\u2019ve got to say. In my opinion, it would bring your posts a little livelier.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Okay, I’ll concur. My titles are pretty boring. How about,
\n“You’ll NEVER\u00a0look at coffee the same way once you learn about this one amazing secret!”
\n“Doctor reveals hidden weight loss trick via espresso”
\n“She drank some coffee with her eyes closed. When she opened them, my jaw dropped! Click to read why!”<\/p>\n

See you in 6 months for Part 4.<\/p>\n

(Update, September 2017: I think either the filters are getting better, or spammers have just not been on the ball with funny messages since this post because there really has been nothing worth saving from my spam folder in the last year. What a pity! So, I will have to say this series of posts is now over but thanks for the memories…)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s that time again! I always worry a bit that I’m going to stop getting interesting spam messages, but thankfully over these last 6 months, the spammers didn’t disappoint. As always, these posts are lifted straight from my spam inbox – I have not edited out any of the spelling and grammar mistakes! For Part […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2331,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"The spammers are up to their old tricks again...","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[238],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"acf":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/460x345-spam-hello-kitty-musubi.jpg","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1195,"url":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/?p=1195","url_meta":{"origin":2321,"position":0},"title":"The best spam comments (March-September 2015)","date":"September 28, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Coffee Cantata is my first real website, and one thing I have learned is that websites and spam go hand-in-hand. Some of the spam is pretty hilarious, too! Most of it consists of links to questionable prescription drugs and SEO marketing, but every now and then I get a comment\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Off topic"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeecantata.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/Spam-Can-e1440770071410.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1888,"url":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/?p=1888","url_meta":{"origin":2321,"position":1},"title":"The best spam comments, part 2 (September 2015-February 2016)","date":"March 21, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"More fun times with spam! I couldn't make this up if I tried, people. If you missed Part 1, check it out here. He\u2019s obviously an extremely gifted runner. I\u2019m excited to see injury. A totalof 171 MMA matches involving 220 different fighters occurred during the study period. There necessary.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Off topic"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeecantata.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Monty_Python__Spam_2440432n.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":809,"url":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/?p=809","url_meta":{"origin":2321,"position":2},"title":"Mini review: Intelligentsia Decaf Librarian’s Blend (Chicago, Illinois)","date":"July 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"This bag of Intelligentsia was a gift for my friend Julee, but she generously offered to let me have some of the beans in order to do a review. I purposely just took a little bit (after all, I wanted her to enjoy the coffee!), so I was\u00a0not able to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blends"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeecantata.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/07\/tn_IMG_1122.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":192,"url":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/?p=192","url_meta":{"origin":2321,"position":3},"title":"Review: Coffee del Rey Guatemala Huehuetenango (Plano, Texas)","date":"April 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Coffee del Rey is a VERY local roaster to me, located less than 10 miles from my house. It\u00a0is a company that operates on a similar business model to TOMS. For every pound of coffee sold, they provide a pack of non-GMO heritage fruit\/vegetable seeds in partnership\u00a0with training from other\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "AeroPress"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeecantata.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/IMG_0865-e1430540614804.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6123,"url":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/?p=6123","url_meta":{"origin":2321,"position":4},"title":"Review: Counter Culture Big Trouble Blend Single-Serve Bags (5 pack)","date":"November 21, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"I had a spontaneous trip to Asheville, North Carolina at the end of September. Since I didn't have a rental car on this trip, I wasn't anticipating having much access to craft coffee, but serendipitously, my hotel was around the corner from an Earth Fare market (natural foods grocery store),\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Blends"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeecantata.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/IMG-8766-e1574314503777.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5584,"url":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/?p=5584","url_meta":{"origin":2321,"position":5},"title":"Review: Prismatic Coffee El Salvador Finca El Nazareth Natural (Albuquerque, New Mexico)","date":"February 19, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"My last coffee from my visit to Albuquerque was this bag from Prismatic Coffee. Prismatic's cafe is a thoroughly modern space with lovely touches spread throughout - it felt very Instagrammable, if you're into that sort of thing. Two things of note: They create stroopwafels by hand, in both salted\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "AeroPress"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/coffeecantata.co\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/IMG-5802-e1548596197740.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5QIia-Br","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2321"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2321"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2787,"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2321\/revisions\/2787"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2331"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/coffeecantata.co\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}